Life sucks

I am so tired of feeling this way. I want to die. I'm sick of being in the middle. I want to close my eyes and go to sleep. I hate what you've done to me and how I feel. No wonder why I come home and drink. I can't live with you and how you treat us. What is wrong and why us? You make me wish I was dead.i hate you so much. You are turning into a monster and I can't control or stop your abuse.

I lay here at night and wonder of the scale will be lower tomorrow. Will i be thinner? Will anyone notice I've lost weight or will it be another depressing year? I have gotten a few more tattoos, to keep me from cutting. Its strange, but true. The pain is my relief.

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It's time

I am, once again, on the mission to lose weight. I must succeed. I've done it before, I can do it again. This time I have no one to tell me different. The first time it was a boyfriend. The second time it was a husband. Now I have neither and the cats have nothing to say about it. I found one of my old journals and it all came flooding back. I remember how thin I was and how happy I felt. I want to go back there again...
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Thoughts

Have you ever thought about being with someone like yourself? Being a divorced mom, it's hard to find a guy who understands. I wonder if another woman would understand?
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Body image norms

I have a friend with a daughter in 6th grade. She stands about 5'5" and probably weighs 70-lbs (if even) dripping wet. She is now enrolled in a local gym because her friends are telling her she is fat. And you wonder why kids have distorted images and eating disorders!
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No one to talk to

I have no one to talk to. I want to scream! I want to explode. I want to seriously hurt someone! I am so f*ckin pissed that I wish everyone would go to hell!!!

Even wanted to just sit and drink?

What a day? Nothing but arguments and tears. My son and I went at it tooth and nail. I just want to open bottle after bottle and drink - beer after beer, wine after wine, a heavy-duty shot...